Tuesday 24 February 2009

Stepping stones

Nothing can trouble you but your own imagination- Nisgardatta Maharaj

Yesterday, I think the whole world was out to offend me. Whether it was in person, by a friend, or a random person on the internet, somebody was there to yank my chain. Although they might have succeeded initially to provoke an emotional response, self enquiry nearly always kicked in. “who is it that is offended”, you ask yourself and you try looking for the answer; “hmm, a person, no thats a concept...” and you can’t find it! You can’t find anything that is affected by the situation that is beyond the boundaries of thought or emotion.
Thats the great thing about self-enquiry. It gets better the more ‘excited’ you are. Of course, those moods of excitement are nearly always preprogrammed and habitual movements of emotion. Once they are thoroughly questioned, they drop like flies.
Everything needs to be questioned, every assumption, every movement of the mind has to be met. And if you are doing it right, even the best disguised demons will show their true face.

That is the spirit of self enquiry.

24th of Feb- Introduction

"The very act of percieving means that you are not what you percieve." Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj


Today I have begun making a log of my progress on the path of self actualization and happiness. I am utilizing the practice of self enquiry, which was proposed by the late Sri Ramana Maharshi and zazen, aptly translated as 'just sitting'

I am 21 and a student of medical biology. After years of dissatisfaction with conventional thought and function, I have begun a serious inquiry into the nature of being. Not just any being, but MY being. The very fact that it is completely relevant to ME, means that it is the most intimate inquiry. Im not talking from an ego-perspective, but THAT WHICH OBSERVES THOUGHT. What is it that thinks? What am I? Not conceptually speaking, but existentially, what AM I!?!

This is the most important question, because without knowing what you are, how can you know if your thoughts have any truth? You believe in liberalism, conservatism, sexual freedom, sexual conservatism, spiritualism, materialism, idealism, burger king etc; BUT what is it that is aware of these ideas? If you were an idea then you would come and go. However this is not the case, you are that which is aware of thought.

All thoughts are based on the principle preconception that 'I am', but what is it that senses 'I am'? Is it a personality? Can we find personality anywhere outside concepts? And this body, if I am this body, then why does this 'I am' or feeling of innate existence not fluctuate when the body is being regenerated, cell by cell? And yet, even that which says 'I am the body' is a thought or a sense perception. Is there a way of discovering what I am beyond thought?

The body and mind are both shaped by the elements of environment and genetics. There is nothing there that allows freewill or independence. What is that sense that feels independent, a kind of focal point of existence?

This question is so important, that many people will overlook it. Even Im not sure if I am capable of looking deeply enough, but I WILL TRY. In actuality, we can't be sure of anything. One thing that life can teach you intellectually, is that we DON'T KNOW. But thats another post entirely.

You might be thinking by now that, asking yourself such questions is trivial and will generate even more thought. I will conclude the post with the following quote by Ramana Maharshi;

"The thought 'who am I?' will destroy all other thoughts, and like the stick used for stirring the burning pyre, it will itself in the end get destroyed. Then, there will arise Self-realization."